"heartbreaker no more." -- indian dimple

can you grab my hand, and hold it tight near your heart.  
can you wrap your arms around me, and keep me warm without letting me go.  
can you stay here beside me, and stare at my eyes with your unspoken words.  
can you close your eyes, and feel me lying side by side with you.  
can you rest your head to my chest, and listen to my pounding heart screaming your name.  
can your fingers play around my every skin,  and and caress my body with your warm touch.  
can you breathe warm breath at the back of my ears, and whisper sweet words that touches my heart and soul.  
can you kiss my waiting and wanting mouth, and taste my sweet lips and tongue owning you.  


this is between you and me, in our very own imagination world.  
at this very moment, here in our very own place.  
just for now.

what i love about waking up in the morning, is the morning greeting from my boys.  "good morning, mommy!"  *mamamuah* 

then things vanishes. a little playtime before i hit the shower is a daily routine for me.  i attend to my pepper, i attend to my salt.  sometimes we argue too, but we patch things up before we say our goodbyes and take cares.

God is really good.  even if i know i sinned before i closed my eyes, He still show me goodness as i open my eyes -- in the presence of my boys.

woke up this morning at the wrong side of the bed. not really a bad dream, but sleeping soooo late with a bad feeling is really B-A-D.  i hate that sometimes i just need to close my eyes and pretend that bad thing just didn't happened, i hate it.  i blanket myself from head to toe, so as not to see anything anymore, as if it will cover the pain as well.  but i know that when i open my eyes, i will still be thinking about it, i will still feel bad about it.

then i will realize that i needed to get up and dress-up for work.  feeling low and sleepy.

this was a big decision for me.  i've been a blogger for more than 7 years, and maintaining my heartbreaker's blotter for more than 4 years @ blogspot... i decided to give weebly a try and move my blogging and etc etc stuff here.  

my heart still is pierced knowing that my loyalty belongs no more to my blogspot, but i decided because i already decided to move on and keep my past at my archives.  i am a primipara no more, since i have 2 lovely boys already, and i don't want to be a heartbreaker anymore...why? maybe i will share it to this blog soon...just maybe.

i will not be closing my primipara[dot]blogspot[dot]com account for now (and i hope that blogspot will not close it too without informing me) since i have my past 4 years there, and i literally treat it as my diary -- where in every now and then i track back my life from the past. i smile, i cry, i laugh then i forget about it again.

i am not a true blogger so as they say, but i do it for my own relief and it's been keeping me sane from my day to day events.  my blog stayed with me whenever & wherever.  it's been there thru all my ups and downs.  i vent out to it, then i'm relieved.  

so weebly, please do take care of me as how (or much better,  more over) blogspot took care of me.