"heartbreaker no more." -- indian dimple

yesterday, thursday...430pm, we got a call from kuya lyndon.  we need to dress-up and be at makati by 5pm.  naalimpungatan pa nga ata si conce ko...hehehe.

we were catching the time, service will start at 6pm.  this will be his first "major" service after so many years of not being in the ministry.  at first i thought the call was about his assignment as a sound technician, nde pala.  then i thought he was asked to be the sound-tech for the service yesterday, well nde din pala.  he was asked to be the drummer for the service...hhuuu-whaaaaat???!? i was shocked as well, but excited at the same time.  it's one of the least thing i would ever thought that they will ask him to do.  well for the longest time, the husby didn't really play drums in any of the services.  the last time he was so involved in the ministry was 2004, and he was a sound technician for so many years...that was even before i met him year '95.

i know he's nervous, and a little scared.  who wouldn't be? if you are not used of playing drums in a crowd for so so many years, and play music with other good musicians, wouldn't you feel the same?  but i know that he is excited as well.  the first thing he prepared was his drumstick. he got one pair from his box, and made a round of drummin'.  

so we drove to the center, and he was driving so quietly.  very much in a hurry, but very quiet too.  5 minutes before 6pm, and he has not practiced yet with the band.  he took his sit, and position himself in front of the drum set.  they prayed. and the service started.

as a stage mom as i am to my kids, i am also a stage wife to my husby.  i made sure that i have with me the magnificent cam and that the SD is empty and that the batt is fully charged...hehehe.  i am as excited and nervous as he is.  but i trust conce, he is a good musician -- whether in front of the drum set or the mixer, he is good in what he does.  he's gifted.  but more than what he can do, i depend and trust in the Lord's grace to him as a musician.  

i fell in love with him more again, when i saw him played the drums.  it might not be perfect, but he was good.  few more practice, he will be back to his own pulse.

a while ago, i was watching the video.  and i immediately cried.  few more minutes, and i am still crying.  actually, i am crying more after than few minutes ago.

i started thanking God, in my heart & in my mind.  and i remembered all those people who kept praying for him and never stopped encouraging him to go back to ministry.  i first thought of our good friend irwen.  i can't stop myself buzzing him at YM and telling him the good news.  and then we started chatting about it.  i'm lost of words to tell him, but i just kept thanking irwen.  and there's my family too, who prays for him unceasingly.  and to our friends who keeps on encouraging him to go back to the ministry.  thanks for not giving up on him, on us.  i will always be thankful to you guys.

and to God be all the glory.  To HIM i am and will be forever grateful.

days or weeks of no internet at home....  *argh!*

buying new stuff & stocks for the new house.  *ngarks!*

going thru your old stuff.  checking on what to throw and what to preserve then reminisce.  *smiling*

decorating your place, organizing your stuff, segregating your items from the big boxes...messing up your nails.  *yucky*

absentis-kamatis from work.  *excited*

mess all over to the new space. *migraine*

i never thought that the word MOVING will be a big thing for me this year.  and instances of moving already took place for 3 aspect now (as of today).

aside from some personal matter of moving on that i am did early this year, just recently i've decided to move my blog from primipara to here (at weebly).  and today, we will have the major move out from the old house to our new shelter.  wheeew!

i'm mixed emotion right now.  saying goodbye to the house that sheltered me (and my family) for more than 10 years, is not an easy decision to do.  it's like leaving the person that loved you and took care of you for so many years.  it was not an impromptu decision from us, but it was an agreement with an ASAP word attached to it.  loooooooong story, but it is a decision that we sisters agreed on the same ground.  we NEED to do it, we NEED to MOVE.

i already packed most of our staff last weekend, and left some items to be used on a daily thing.  some of our things are already brought to the new house.  but when i received a call from my sister that today will be the BIG MOVE-OUT, i'm quite nervous but excited as well.

i called half-day from work to help out in our moving.  and while the workers started to load our gigantic furnitures, and the old house started to be empty, i started to miss the old house...our very own home.  then i remember the first time my foot stepped on this land, everyone of us was excited specially when we saw the swimming pool and our individual rooms.  i remember that we already picked-out rooms even when my parents have not decided to buy it yet.  everyone was happy and excited.  and when we moved here last quarter of 1999, i was so busy designing and cleaning my own room & CR.  i love my room, i love my very own space.  my room witnessed lots of special events in my life -- happy and sad events.  it's been my comfort zone ever since.  specially my CR -- it served me exactly as how it was named.


i took pictures of our old house -- my room, the really dirty kitchen, the messy backyard, the unorganized receiving area and wrecked parking area.  it is not as nice as it is 10 years ago (when we moved and after the renovation), but this house will always be special to me.


i will miss you, old home.

why can't i just think of you and not cry.  i remember you every now and then, but my eyes still shed tears, why? we have good memories of each other, but why does my heart aches every time i remember you?  

i was once asked, to remember the people who made me cry most and hurt me -- then i cried.  i know in my heart that i do not hate you at all, i know deep inside me that i have no anger or anything against you...but i am sad.  

i wanted to smile again every time i remember you.  i wanted to have the excitement again every time i look back and think of you.    

how can your goodbye give tears and cover all our good memories?  why can't i look at your photos without sadness in my eyes?   

this is sad, really sad.

i was tempted...i looked back. i re-read, i got sad. then i cried.

(i  am still healing)...